Cavalry Justice

Last night the troopers and ladies and I were practicing our military horsemanship riding skills in the arena. We were working on that stuff that hardened cavalrymen only work on at night when no one is looking—stuff like changing leads and posting on the correct diagonal and such. Anyway, I was riding my favorite horse Apache-the-wonder-horse. I call him the wonder horse because it is a wonder he hasn’t killed me yet. I had also offered to let Lady Martina ride my other favorite horse, Cochise, which she graciously accepted. This may sound magnanimous of me but I was just trying to get out of the chore of mucking out his stall. Anyway, after riding the wonder horse around for a while I remembered that Lady Martina has long wanted to ride Apache. I went over to where Lady Martina was sitting on Cochise and asked her if she wanted to ride Apache. She reacted like she had just won the German lottery (Lady Martina is from the fatherland) and quickly dismounted and handed me Cochise so she could ride Apache. She then moved Apache over a little ways so she could surreptitiously lengthen his stirrups without me noticing and getting offended which I would most assuredly would have been had I noticed. After she was done riding Apache around for a while we all lined up in formation to get ready to ride back to the stables. Lady Martina lined up next to me and Trooper Jay and we soon noticed a pleasant odor in the air. Since Trooper Jay and I are used to lots of odors when riding with the cavalry but knowing that none of them are pleasant we quickly surmised that Lady Martina was the source of this new olfactory sensation. To which I paid the highest compliment you can pay to a lady under such circumstances, “You stink purdy,” I said. Lady Martina accepted this high compliment in typical German fashion, that is to say by ignoring it but with a tight-lipped countenance that said I would pay for this remark later. Later on, back at the stables, I noticed Lady Martina putting something in my tack shed which she explained to me was an item of tack belonging to Cochise. I told her I assumed she was putting a present in there for me to which she replied she was not as it was not my birthday. I acknowledged that was true but said she should give me a present anyway because I let her ride my wonder horse. She then turned away and said something about indeed having an appropriate gift for me which caused all the hair on my neck to stand on end. She returned a few minutes later with her friend and ally, Lady Kathleen. Each had that look that women get on their faces when they are trying to hide the fact they are about to launch an ambush. They then strode forward and presented me with my gift—a miniature plastic ladies curry comb which was, of course, pink in color. Justice served.